You don’t know pain until you are staring at yourself in the mirror, your eyes filled with tears, telling yourself to hold back and be strong.
That is pain. And the thing about pain is that it demands to be felt….
Hi! Writing is like much more than just a hobby for me, its the way I feel alive, I breathe. And for this whole month of April its like my way of living, my breathes are taken away. Its been almost four weeks since my last post here. Things have changed so fast – moving into a new city, adjusting to a whole different routine, quite a mess.
Right now I am sitting in a dark room, 200 km away from my home thinking about how last month went! I am away from home for a study course, when I came here, I was welcomed by a whole new lifestyle, full of things but lacking the time for my poor soul to breathe! Busy things, I really don’t know how my day passes! Its like dialy you wake up early, go to the station to catch a train and watch it leave in front of your face! But how long can this separate me from my blog, my poor soul is not even that poor, it can escape the buzzy bee life for sometime, to breathe.
Only because some scars have healed, doesn’t means that the pain has….
Beauty of pain is that it makes everything beautiful. Music without pain, writing without pain, art without pain- its like a body without soul, lifeless.
I’m not talking about the physical mental pain or pressure but something you feel in your heart, when its broken into pieces, the harder you try to collect them more it hurts. Pain doesn’t refer to any mental depression but its something we all have experienced, both the stronger as well as weaker hearts. At some point of life whatever be the reason we have felt it.
Pain is not what makes you feel miserable for a second and then you grab a cold beer and its gone! Pain is a memory that hurts – sometimes, some places, some people, somethings, the moment you feel somewhere deep down in you has died. Most of us like to bury it deep inside themselves. This not some mental health column or ways to recover your emotional pain and fears, its about how you feel, and why you hide it. Its for those who have this pain. Its not at all that I am telling you that things will never work out and you can never be happy. I am just exploring an emotion.
Pain is commanding, demands to be felt. The world says, you felt it in your heart (in the left corner ) but actually it hurts somewhere in the center, middle of your chest, so suffocating, so merciless. The blunder of memories, emotions and outcomes- coming in you head, felt in your chest, heard in the room of your heart and seen in your eyes.
You know its like a wound, quite an old one you think its done, you have recovered, you move on stronger, fight things face life everything good but alone whenever you touch it and it still hurts, you see its still red. It hurts you, may be not that bad as the first time but it does, it hurts you.
You hide it deep inside you, you fear world will mock at you, nothing wrong about it ’cause it does. We live in a judgemental world, people judge us and we judge others! If you laugh then its show off and if you cry your a cry baby!
Tears are often associated with weakness, we try to bury them deep inside. But does shutting things inside do any good? Does the pain inside us ceases? When people you trust upon doesn’t understand you, you’re pain grows.
Pain demands understanding, not sympathy. In times like this I don’t look for heavy words of sympathy all I want is one shoulder to lean on and two ears to listen.
As i said we live in a judgemental world, according to it the people who are crying and screaming are the only one in pain, “so bad! “, ” Ah! miserable” , “poor soul “.
My tears can set one of the best example of honesty. So honest and loyal that they don’t dare to come out without my permission….
Life is full of colors. We all have some dark shades, covered deep inside hidden from rest. We can’t know everything about a person, harder we try little it is. The fact is we hurt others and we get hurted, attachments lead to expectations and expectations are not always fulfilled.
We all are probably living in a big-big world, we have fears, we hide our pain, we suffer in silence. But one thing we should remember. Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
Letting go is hard but holding on is harder.