Pain

You don’t know pain until you are staring at yourself in the mirror, your eyes filled with tears, telling yourself to hold back and be strong. 

That is pain. And the thing about pain is that it demands to be felt….       

 

Hi! Writing is like much more than just a hobby for me,  its the way I feel alive,  I breathe. And for this whole month of April its like my way of living, my breathes are taken away.  Its been almost four weeks since my last post here.  Things have changed so fast – moving into a new city,  adjusting to a whole different routine,  quite a mess.  


Right now I  am sitting in a dark room, 200  km  away from my home thinking about how last month went! I am away from home for a study course, when I came here, I was welcomed by a whole new lifestyle, full of things but lacking the time for my poor soul to breathe! Busy things,  I really don’t know how my day passes!  Its like dialy you wake up early, go to the  station to catch a train and watch it leave in front of your face! But how long can this separate me from my blog,  my poor soul is not even that poor, it can escape the buzzy bee life for sometime, to breathe.

Only because some scars have healed, doesn’t means that the pain has….

  Beauty of pain is that it makes everything beautiful. Music without pain, writing without pain, art without pain- its like a body without soul,  lifeless. 

I’m not talking about the physical mental pain or pressure but something you feel in your heart,  when its broken into pieces, the harder you try to collect them more it hurts. Pain doesn’t refer to any mental depression  but its something we all have experienced, both the stronger as well as weaker hearts. At some point of life whatever be the reason we have felt it.  

 Pain is not  what makes you feel miserable for a second and then you grab a cold beer and its gone! Pain is a memory that hurts – sometimes,  some places, some people, somethings, the moment you feel somewhere deep down in you has died. Most of  us like to bury it deep inside themselves. This not some mental health column or ways to recover your emotional pain and fears, its about how you feel,  and why you hide it.  Its for those who have this pain. Its not at all that I am telling you that things will never work out and you can never be happy. I am just exploring an emotion.  

Pain is commanding,  demands to be felt. The world says, you felt it in your heart (in the left corner ) but actually it hurts somewhere in the center,  middle of your chest,  so suffocating,  so merciless. The blunder of memories, emotions and outcomes- coming in you head, felt in your chest, heard in the room of your heart and seen in your eyes.  

  You know its like a wound, quite an old one you think its done, you have recovered,  you move on stronger, fight things face life everything good  but alone whenever  you touch it and it still  hurts, you see its still red.  It hurts you, may be not that bad as the first time but it does,  it hurts you. 

You hide it deep inside you, you fear world will mock at you, nothing wrong  about it ’cause it does. We live in a judgemental world, people judge us  and we judge others! If you laugh  then its show off and if you cry your a cry baby! 

Tears are often associated with weakness, we try to bury them deep inside.  But does shutting things inside do any good? Does the pain inside us ceases?   When people you trust upon doesn’t understand you, you’re pain grows.  

 Pain demands understanding, not sympathy. In times like this I don’t look for heavy words of sympathy all I want is one  shoulder to lean on and two ears to listen.

As i said we live in a judgemental world,  according to it the people who are crying and screaming are the only one in pain,  “so bad! “, ” Ah!  miserable” , “poor soul “. 

My tears can set one of the best example of honesty. So honest and loyal that they don’t dare to  come out without my permission…. 

Life is full of colors.  We all have some dark shades, covered deep inside hidden from rest. We can’t know everything about a person, harder we try little it is. The fact is we hurt others  and we get hurted,  attachments lead to expectations and expectations are not always fulfilled. 

We all are probably living in a big-big world,  we have fears, we hide our pain, we suffer in silence. But one thing we should remember.  Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. 

Letting go is hard but holding on is harder. 

Ujala. 

The Handwriting tag! 

This week was a busy one, I had my exams and they are still on! Seems like they’ll never end.  But let it go,  here i found something really awesome,  NewMoonPlan tagged me to this, you better read her blog its adorable,  you’ll love it.  Well to this task, firstly i don’t write very neat!  But the task is fun,  here are my answers –

Oh but firstly the rules-

  • Write your name. 
  • Write your blog’s name.
  • Write something nice. 
  • Write the name of your favorite song, currently. 
  • What are you writing with? 
  • Write a fun fact about yourself. 
  • Write /draw your favourite emoticon. 
  • Write a silly message. 
  • Write to whom are you tagging this. 

I haven’t  written all the names as you can see the page was about to end. So here are the names of  blogs to whom I’m tagging this. 

Guys I am sorry if you’re already into this,  and one more thing its not compulsory to do it but i personally stress do participate.  Its fun!  ☺ 

Every one who reads this can also participate , its open for all. So do try this! 

Till next,  enjoy your freedom and love yourself! 

Ujala. 

RED

 

11294769684_5d4b0d1a23_n

Red is color of life.

Red is love.

Red is passion.

Red is blood. 

Red is fire. 

Red is danger. 

Red is rage.

Red is blush. 

Red is valentine.

Red is birth.

Red is new beginnings and violent ends. 

Red is feminine.

Red is life.

 

I woke up early, my gosh my back was aching like hell,  something’s wrong. I went to bathroom and as soon as i pee, i notice the red color on my panties. I got my periods, another month. But the changes they brought to me are more than just biological.

Menstruation -The monthly hormonal roller coaster ride that happens to be  part of every woman’s life, from the very day she reaches her puberty. The day she steps in the threshold of womanhood, now she is ceases to be a child,  but becomes a young woman. Red indeed is the color of womanhood.

What-is-Femininity

You see there are different meanings attached to menstruation to people, to communities, to religions; variety of myths, perceptions. But these communities don’t realize that some of these views ruins somebody’s childhood and future. Even after being a part of so called modern, progressive society full of advocates of women rights and freedom, periods are still considered as a taboo in Indian society! Girls suffer due to the restrictions put upon them, a mental torture that nobody understands.

Here’s an account of an ordinary 14 yrs old girl, living in the progressive Indian society-

“It is a cloudy night,  even the birds aren’t awake, the sound of her swift footsteps is adding to frogs croaking in the nearby pond. She must be fast, she must complete her job before anyone’s awake and watches her. She is washing her clothes that are soaked in her periods stains. She must be fast,  she makes sure that, its done before anyone discovers this, for its a shame.

Today she won’t go to school, even though she wants to attend classes and play with her friends. Today she won’t enter the kitchen as it may ‘pollute’ the kitchen. She can’t go to temple today. She can’t touch the pickle today. Today,  she can’t go outside the four walls of her house for she’s menstruating, she needs to stay there only, like her life has stopped, its all static for today as well as next 5 days of her life. And it happens every months. Because she’s got periods. Because she’s young woman. Her innocent mind curses such a adulthood,  that snatches away numerous such ‘5 days’ from her life. She hates her womanhood. She hates red. “

This is the story of every teenage girl, irrespective of social strata she belongs to. On one hand the society, tells that  she’s a woman now and on other hand same society tells her its a shame and put restrictions on her? How can she enjoy her adulthood if such biased views are attached to feminism.

Menstruation is more than just a hormonal up side down in a girl’s life. Many of them have to leaves their wishes apart, all of their dreams are shattered.  In India, school dropout rate is highest for girls after class 8th. Their dreams to study, to move ahead in life, to be something remains mere dreams due to menstruation, symbol of her feminism. The social perceptions,  family pressure and lack of sensitivity towards periods in schools,  forces many girls to stop their education and leave their dreams apart. Many girls suffer from diseases or even loose their lives due to lack of personal hygiene during menstruation, because of lack of awareness. Periods is something never talked about and due to it lives suffers.

But its not like that only girls from undeveloped sections of society suffers, same restrictions are also put upon the girls of higher classes.

Pain and suffering are independent of the social status one belongs to, the trauma faced, the tears and those mind pricking questions faced, are same for every girl.

I live in a society where my periods are considered a shame, a society that tells me not to cook,  not to pray, not to study, not to play, not to roam, not to touch pickle,  for something that is not at all in my control!

Menstruation is a biological process like respiration, circulation or digestion. You can’t control them or stop them,  they’ll come as they do, but stopping somebody’s life,  ruining somebody’s future is heck of nonsense!

images

When you think of letter ‘A’ a clear cut picture of a red juicy fruit strikes your temple. When you think of word ‘woman’ the picture formed is quite vivid and interesting. Many of us imagines our mom. The picture vary from person to person. But what i see is “nature”. Nature has the power to create, a power that makes her “mother nature”. Woman is nature,the creator, the source .Woman is red.

She suffers, but this suffering of her couldn’t be put to an end until we as a society, accept menstruation as a part of woman’s life more than just a symbol of her adulthood. It couldn’t be put to en end till we accept Red.

I can’t be denied of freedom, for my vagina is bleeding today! You can’t ruin my day. Its a natural process of life and need not to stop my life.

You tell her to be red, but never accept her as red, this is where the problem lies. And due to this we are tortured.

Accept RED.

oW-3dMzK_400x400

 

Sunshine Blogger Award.

 

the-sunshine-blogger-award

From deepest core of my heart, a very big thank you to  Zoya Kubra, Seeking Words, for nominating me for this Sunshine blogger award, three days before. Well I really love reading your work Zoya, you extremely talented and a gifted writer, you write honest and true things, that I like the most. Please check out her blog, you too will love it, as much as I do.

heart_nominate-300x262

When I read about the concept I was amazed, I really found it very interesting and I decided to complete this task. Well I am a very introvert girl, I have just begin writing, so I am new to the blogging world, this is a very special opportunity for me to express myself with you guys, to explore myself and tell you about me and my world.

The rules for this task are as follows:

  1. Thank the blogger/bloggers who nominated your name in the blog post & link back to their blog.
  2. The person, who nominated you, would have send you 11 questions, answer them.
  3. You’ll nominate 11 new blogs to receive the awards and write them 11 new questions, of your choice.
  4. On your blog/post list all the rules and display it under –“The Sunshine Blogger Award” logo.

Quite interesting, no? Well let me complete my task most welcomingly, my answers to Zoya’s questions-

  1. How long have you been blogging and what motivated you to begin? 

Well it’s been only 22 days! I have started writing my blog at sky of freedom on 2nd march, 2017. I have been passionate about writing since eighth standard. I have faced loneliness in my life, some really terrible memories from years of my growing up. I find it difficult to express myself to people, so I resorted to writing blogs. You see, for things like knowledge, inspiration the direction of flow is from outside to inside but motivation is something from inside to outside. It’s more than just a blog for me it’s a way to express myself and satisfaction to my inner self and that’s my motivation you see!

2. Who is your favorite character (book or movie) & why?

 I am a huge fan of Dan Brown! I love his “Da Vinci code”. My favorite character is obviously the protagonist Robert Langdon. His wits, knowledge, and presence of mind makes me his fan, I admire this dashing Harvard professor of symbology, exploring hidden truths of history!

3. What annoys you more than anything?                                                                              

  Its hypocrisy. You see, when I see people around me saying something and doing the opposite I am frustrated. They’ll behave as modern world dwellers, they talk of women equality & rights in parties and meetings then, once back home they’ll beat their own wives! This is modern hypocrisy and this is heck of nonsense it irritates me.

4. What would you ask for if the answer was “yes”?

Numerous questions! Well I love talking to people, knowing them and learning from them. I’ll ask people for their most precious possession! In today’s period what could be more precious than time? I’ll ask them to spend their time with me and enjoy.

5. If you could invite anyone to dinner (dead or alive), which to people would you invite & why?                                                                                                                             

Well this would be a really great chance. Well firstly, I would like to invite Nobel laureate Malala Yosufsai, ‘cause I love her views on children and women rights. I admire her courage and determination a lot. Secondly it would be my favorite author the “king of Hindi novel era”- Munshi Premchand, the more I read him the less it is, his works have awoken my interest in  Hindi literature. I would love to discuss Indian society and culture with him. It would be damn cool!

6. Where do you see yourself in 5 yrs time?                                                                                

   I’ll be 18 after 7 days!. My school has just ended, now I am preparing for entrance test. I am a medical student, not by choice, but by destiny. My father wanted a Doctor to please people in society not a writer to please his daughter’s interest. In next five years I’ll be graduating I guess. Right now I can’t say anything about my future certainly, but I do have a deep wish to take  a course of creative writing in near future.

7. What’s your happiest memory?                                                                                                  

 When my younger sister, Hansavani was born! The happiest moment I have witnessed till date. Oh! I love her a lot, all my worries and tensions disappear at her sight.She’s quite younger to me but she’s my best friend, my princess!

8. Which protagonist/villain do yourself in?                                                                              

 I am a book worm, I love reading. Well it’s very often that I read something and start identifying myself with characters. But after reading ‘Diary of a Young Girl’ by Anne Frank, I felt a deep sense of connection with her. I feel there’s a Anne in every teenage girl. So I am Anne.

9. What would you be working as if you weren’t a blogger/writer or working in your current job/career?                                                                                                          

 Well my professional career hasn’t begun yet! I am just 18. But honestly I would love to be a writer! And I hope I’ll be one.

10. What are your 3 favorite foods?                                                                                                    

I am a foodie! I live in country known worldwide for its vibrant, diverse and delicious cuisine. Here in north India we have a great diversity of food, but one which I find hard to resist is Rajma Chawal (kidney beans and rice dish, just one word to say- yummy!). I have sweet tooth for ice creams, butterscotch my favorite! And I love one more dish it’s a Gujarati dish called Dhokla (whenever you get a chance to visit India, please do visit Gujarat and taste this delight its amazing).

11. If you had one day completely by yourself, how would you fill your time?                

 A day for myself? Hmmm…. Well yes it would be very exciting to get rid of boring routine. My interests are quite singular. I love travelling and reading, I like to spend time with dogs too. So to fill up a day for myself with gorgeous memoirs, I’ll travel. I’ll read. I’ll play with my dogs. 🙂

 

Now finally the third step, I am nominating eleven names. Guys I am sorry, if you have already done this task or you have been nominated already. Also keep this in mind that it’s not compulsory to do it. The names are as follows:

  1. ashleywelizabeth
  2. Roth Poetry
  3. Samuel David Sadler, The Violet City
  4. supercalifragilisticexpialidociousmemoirs
  5. Derek Powazek
  6. our hoppy travels
  7. Sam Dylan Finch
  8. Karen Topakian
  9. Cheri Lucas Rowlands
  10. Glenn Redus

 

Here are my questions for you:

  1. What is your motivation behind writing, what inspires you to write?
  2. One of your qualities that you feel makes you different from others?
  3. Who is your favorite author and name the best novel you have read till date?
  4. Around this beautiful globe, name any three places that you haven’t been to but, would long to visit once in your lifetime?
  5. Suppose if you are give a super power like our comic heroes, which power you would choose?
  6. What kind of music you listen to and who’s your favorite singer?
  7. Its general human nature, we all get angry some point of our life. When you are frustrated or mad on something, what do you do to overcome it?
  8. When you get up in the morning, the first thought that comes to your mind is…?
  9. Imagine you’re given a magical eraser that can erase any part of human history, would you lie to use it? If yes, then which part of history you would erase?
  10. A recent quotation or line you came across which you found worth remembering?
  11. Name any one quality about human nature that you admire the most and one that annoys you the most?

Widescreen Exotic Flowers Wallpapers

Spring misses you Gauraiya..

Indian_Sparrow

Today is another beautiful day here; you see Himachal is especially beautiful during this time of year. The long cold winters are going, spring stands ahead smiling, the warmth of the noon sun, the soft breeze of evening, clear blue sky so close to us, the snow is melting, hills are undergoing transformation from white to green. During this time here we welcome number of guests who come to adore spring in hills.

Recently on 20th march we celebrated “world sparrow day”. Here the little house sparrow is called “Gauraiya”. The little brown colored sweet bird could be found easily in every house veranda, perching on window grills, smiling on the roof, playing on the ground, everywhere! But now if you want to see gauraiya I fear if you would. You may have to go long distance away in villages to see that sweet bird and even for this I am not sure, because gauraiya is declared as endangered and a recent report says it may become extinct soon.

Credits: aliens… natural disasters… zombies… or international conspiracy….? An innocent mind may think about all these options, because this nowhere seems to be a deed of humans defined by their virtue of humanity. But the bitter truth is that the humans (just biologically Homo sapiens, not morally!) did this to gauraiya.

pakistan

Research suggests that, the mobile towers and the radiations are the prime cause of it, it harms the bird. Well another not so official research suggests that the extinction of gauraiya is not only due to setting up of mobile towers in places but the setting up of “ignorance towers” in human heart. The mindless urbanization and lack of human connect for nature causes this. We are becoming emotionally numb; our world is so much surrounded by technology that we have forgotten about humanity and values.

Earlier women used to clean grain outside their houses and gauraiya would have plenty of food from there. Children use to build sparrow houses outside homes. All of this was a human touch.

When I was four I used to play in park there were lot of red roses there, I remember my grandmother used to say don’t pluck flowers during evenings, goddess “Saraswati” resides in them, if you do she’ll curse you ! Don’t tease mice, he’s lord Ganesha’s friend. And lot more. Now we think that old people were orthodox, superstitious but in way there teachings were concerned to Mother Nature, protecting it even by the use of fear!

Well it’s not the time for reminding values and philosophical stuff, but it’s time to stop; a brake should be put on the roller coaster ride of development, not forever but for a moment to think that what are we doing to nature, to planet of life.

John Keats said “thing of beauty is a joy forever”, beautiful things are source of happiness. Just imagine when you see a sunrise early morning the feelings during that time lasts impact on you whole day as a smile on your face. It’s the beauty of earth.

What I really feel is..

 

The lifeless silence of winters is shed

beauty all around as spring stands ahead.

The big trees attired in green

flowery earth bed that before wasn’t seen.

Life on earth is blooming now

soft showers of rain falling down.

The blue sky smiles, like prayers from heaven

joyous spring, greater than the wonders seven!

White cream on mountains flowing into rivers

warmth of golden sun, gone are cold shivers.

The naked trees will adore green

flowery denizens like always been.

The spring too miss you, Gauraiya

men has made enough hate towers

Nothing like your sweet chirping has that power

to bring smile on faces & bliss in life.

Come back little gauraiya, spring misses you.

th

Extinct means I would be never able to see it, well for that I am lucky as I have seen her in my childhood, but I doubt if my children would ever be able to see her. This is the legacy we are going to leave for our children. I am lucky for in my lifetime I have seen jungles, mountains, waterfalls,  animals, green grasses blue skies; for I have heard birds chirping, leaves rustling, bees singing; for I have felt sweet flowers, silver pearls plucked from heaven, for I have seen gauraiya. 

Ujala.

GOOD GIRLS.

She is stubborn never listens to me. SHE IS REBELLIOUS.”  This is what you said Ma, yesterday while you were complaining to Pa about me. I searched for the word “rebellious”, well my oxford dictionary said that rebellious means one showing defiance, resistance, protest. Ma, am I really rebellious? Keeping quit for last six years, as you told me to. Like you said, “good girls” do?

Ma I was just 12 then,  my world was full of wildness, crazy things most important it was secure, free of fear.

95456-Cute-Teddy-Bear

I was downstairs in the kitchen, to fetch an apple while you guys were on the terrace, suddenly I felt a hand around my shoulder, it was he. I replied with a sweet smile but the touch was not sweet. I thought we’re going to play another game together, but where were others? I was alone. Then he groped me, Ma it didn’t felt nice, it wasn’t a good touch. I tried hard to get away but it seemed impossible to get out of his grip. Ma I was scared. I didn’t realized what’s going on. His filthy mouth around my neck, his hands around my shoulder Ma it was hurting a lot. I wanted to yell, but he had put his hand around  my mouth, Ma those 5 minutes were the worst 5 minutes of my life, I wanted to hit him hard, but couldn’t. I wanted you to save me. Then finally, somebody called out my name, his grip loosened, but his hand was still on my mouth. He whispered “don’t you dare tell anyone or else I’ll kill you.”

Silence.

Ma I didn’t showed up for dinner, because I was crying in the bathroom. Whenever I saw myself in the mirror, those bite marks around my neck….Ma, I can’t tell you how it felt, something inside me was broken, my soul was torn apart. I didn’t slept the whole night, I went on crying, I wanted to shout Ma, but, it was as if all those shouts were frozen inside my throat. Ma I couldn’t understand what was going on, you said the world outside was dangerous but you never told me about this dark world inside. For next three days Ma it was like the sun wasn’t rising, a perpetual night, so dark, so scary, so suffocating. Ma, I swear I felt I would die. You were my only hope, my mother, my savior.

child-abuse

I told you and you hugged me and told me that you love me and everything will be fine. You’ll fight for me, you are there for me. And you made everything good, like it was before…. I woke up it was a dream.

I told you Ma, I told you everything. I was in tears. I saw you were in shock, a strange panic on your face, you suddenly sat down and it was all silent. Then you came to me, held me by my shoulders and you said, “Kisi se kucch mat kehna”( don’t tell anyone). You said you’ll see and that I should be a good girl and forget everything, I should stop crying, I shouldn’t shout, this is not how good girls behave. Forget everything, everything what your pervert cousin did? It felt like somebody stabbed my heart. Ma, why?

Silence.

It was like something inside me has died. It was that very moment when we both lost something. I lost my innocence and you lost me. But still Ma I relied on you. I thought that may be keeping quit will lessen the pain inside. I kept quit.

Life went on, I grew up. But swear Ma I didn’t told anyone not even my teddy bojo. I used to cry every night for you being a good mum and me being a good girl. I thought the pain would lessen. I used to forget it, but whenever I saw him around the old pain would come back. When I saw you meeting him in such a friendly manner, the pain would deepen. When I would be forced to greet him, Ma I died inside.

Six years ma, has something changed? The pain is still same. I hadn’t told anyone. Am I good girl, no? Then, why is this happening to me? I never dared to ask. I am 18, but even today I wake up suddenly in nights and cry, I cry a lot, Ma. Not about what he did, but what you did. Ma I am scared of darkness. Even today when someone touches me, I shiver. Those bite marks are gone now, but those scars on my soul, they  are still there. Ma I kept quit, but It’s killing me. Even today we meet him like family, like nothing ever happened.

innocence_lost_by_jawshoewhah-d3dfczu

You’re my mother, I love you and I respect you. You’re my mother, only that’s why I respect you. As a woman you lost that very respect, when you told your 12 years daughter, to be a good girl. It wasn’t that you’re miserable or helpless, you could help. But you didn’t because girls from good societies don’t do that! if I ask you about my suffering, then…

Silence.

Other day aunty was saying, how nice it would have been if god has given you one more daughter like me, I wished deep inside thank god he didn’t.  We are very much different, Ma that’s why we argue so much. But I believed in you, I kept quit.

Nothing has changed, you stopped me from telling truth, and you stopped me from crying. You told me to shut things inside. You told me to be a good girl.

I did, ma.

But still you think I am rebellious?

You’re the perfect woman, elegant, social, and loving, a good wife, a nice house maker. You’re a good mum. I am a good girl.

But I swear ma if I’ll ever have a baby I won’t be the good mum like you. I’ll be a bad mum. And I’ll never tell my daughter to be a good girl. Because if she’ll be a good girl like her me, then like her mum  she’ll suffer in silence.

Ujala.

Letter to my Princess

childhood

 

Dear princess,

I know right now you must be playing out somewhere or probably taking your noon nap. You remember when we met last time before my departure , I recall you weren’t ready to eat your breakfast ( well you do that almost every day! ) ,you asked, when “ I’ll grow up like you didi (sister) ?”  And if drinking milk would do any help? I assured you that it will, you drank the glass and ran away, but I couldn’t sleep the whole night I was up wondering about your question. I realised you are growing up, I mean you are six now. You are getting taller day by day I can recall when first time I saw you were all pink covered  in that blue blanket, my angel.  I am twelve years older to you (but believe me you’re my best friend ) I have seen you growing up, your first step, your first words, how you use to cry all night, your innumerable questions and everything I remember it’s so precious to me. But your question about getting grown up like me somewhere pricks my conscience. I know right now you won’t understand my worry but believe me this letter isn’t to scare you but to help you enjoy your growing up, something that I too wanted.

5277657_f260

When I was of your age I too wanted to get adult soon and do all the crazy things that I thought adults could do. To me being adult meant more freedom and I am sure you also think like that. Darling, but the reality is not like this. The kind of ‘growing up’ your sister has seen is something else. I don’t know if everyone faces situations like this.

Ageing is inevitable truth of nature. From a seed to big tree with fruits life goes on. Everything born on earth grows up and ends finally. But does growing up means you cease to be a child?

3i2__childhood_innocence

You know the difference between being adult and a child?. For adults problems are like a big wall, they are always desperate to cross this wall, hitting hard on it, climbing ladders; but crossing this wall seems impossible. For a child there exists no walls, no boundaries, to limit them.

During my years of growing up what I felt was, being adult means you no longer can play in rain and come home with dirty clothes; you no longer can cry out if you feel like ( otherwise you’ll be a cry baby, your new name among pals); you no longer can sit or stand the way you feel like ( girls shouldn’t do that there are protocols for girls how to behave); you observe the adults do preach of  love and care but they don’t act so lovingly for all, but you can’t question them. You can’t enjoy the freedom your brothers do, you can’t go there and you can’t do this and that! You see people dying of hunger and poverty, children working, women and children being abused, hatred & jealousy among people, animals dying and a lot more but you can’t question because the world is like this, it always have been like this.

You can’t question WHO MADE IT LIKE THIS?

They tell you to behave, to change yourself, not to question, but princess you will. You will grow up to be a beautiful girl, independent and totally free because you’ll not let the child inside you die.  You’ll grow up to be a free bird, no walls. Never let anyone change you, never think what others will think, JUST BE YOURSELF. Right now you are artless, innocent, you don’t know about hatred, cheating or lies. I know this world will let you know all this, but never loose your true self in all this. Sweetie I am not scaring you but just telling you, you are more free now in your childhood, enjoy it.

We all have got a child inside us but the worldly affairs make us forget about it, but you never let it go. Don’t change if world wants you to, you’re a pure soul, stay like this. I know you’ll grow up and I want you to explore this world yourself I’ll never put on my thinking on you, I want your experience to be a good one. You’ll get your own way but all I want is never loose that child inside you. And I really hope people try to change this world which has always been like this!

And for your didi you’ll always be the little crazy princess who doesn’t like milk! I am always there for you.

I love you. Enjoy darling it’s your time.

Yours,

Ujala

Be in Love

Almost every great pen in literary history has touched the subject of love, from Shakespeare’s Romeo to Wordsworth’s ballads;all love. What is love ? As science explains a human mind emotion generated as a result of chemical messengers called hormones; it looks so simple, but is it ? Ask the people  who are in love ! People call it philosophical but surprisingly its practical, you feel it, you live it!

I am  not going to narrate the story of love as  meetings ,attractions ,proposes , promises, lust, complications, cheats, heartbreaks,splits and tears ;but the very emotion of being in love . A tale of strangers, smiles, exchange of sights, sleepless nights, confusions, a sweet pain and an unconditional care. Not about what or how you fall for anyone but the emotion you experience ,the very essence of being in love, things that happen in your world when you let a stranger step in.

download

Love is limitless ,infinite, boundless, the most powerful energy flowing in this universe  and making things happen. People don’t fall in love but its something eternal generated by two souls. A  strange thing that how two completely different people complete each other and become the reason of each other’s existence!

It is not governed by distances, ages , caste, creed or religion; love is when you see someone and forget everything! Time stops literally. The face, so unknown but still your soul call it your own. A stranger  becomes the reason, why you smile very morning , the reason why you look so passionately in the mirror, the reason that makes you happy and forget all the pain,  the reason that makes you stare at the night sky so blankly. Everything changes, your world suddenly fills up with madness, all the fakes in the material world sheds away ,  your vision becomes clear.It is surprisingly the beauty of love, that we get to know our self after meeting a stranger.

An emotion that makes you smile foolishly, you don’t sleep at nights ’cause you feel your dreaming all the times. The world becomes beautiful, filled with brightness; all your fears go away; the rain showers feel so soft , you feel like floating.  You don’t need to be close to him\her you feel him\her around always! Suddenly you want to embrace every habit and quality dear to your beloved.

love-1

Your busy fast track life finds time to see the world, the rains, the blue sky, the stars, the birds, the air you breath in ,the rhythm of your heart. Believe love is like this. Its always been like this, even thousand years ago the feeling was same.Even today when people fall in true love, they feel these things in your  world. Its not philosophical, things you see in poetry, novels or movies;  people experience it in practical. Time couldn’t bring ravages to love, love wins over everything, even time!

It is your own feeling, an emotion that flows through yourself. Leave apart the confessions , promises or proposes , but something you feel all the time even in his\her absence. Your love is your own feeling , so enjoy and cherish it. I wrote earlier love is boundless, infinite how can i bind it in words?

Keep discovering new horizons, new meanings.

Don’t fall in love ’cause when things fall they break, be in love.